How to make a pizza....

OK! This blog contains an array of thoughts…have fun (good luck) following along, yeah?

- So…if you hang around foreign teachers long enough here in Korea, you’ll hear them begin to discuss the very interesting/messed up things they teach the children/adults of Korea. The authors of these books are usually English speakers who spent some sort of time in Korea and think they know what they are doing. But actually don’t. haha! One friend had an example that went something like this:

Lol, oh my.

Recently, two examples in my book caught me completely off guard and I fumbled around trying to pick my scattered thoughts up off the floor and explain what they meant. Here they are:

1. A. How long have your children known about the birds and the bees?

B. they’ve known about the birds and the bees since they were 9. (Say WHAT?!)

2. A. How long have Dan and Jan been nervous?

B. They’ve been nervous since they got married a few hours ago. (I..just…don’t even know why someone would put this in here. Is it some sort of JOKE?!)

- There are several students that attend our school who all work for a bread company called Samlip. One started coming, told his friends, and now there are about 10. I have one of the bosses in my free talking class, and the other day, he was lecturing his co-workers about how “Kaley has good pronunciation, so take this opportunity to learn English because you cannot understand English speakers this well usually.” Uhh…..thanks?

- Mr. Kim and his wife went to the west coast recently. Before they left, he promised to bring me back some oysters. I had no idea how I was going to eat them but I don’t pass up free food, alright?! So, thinking I would be receiving three or four oysters, I was completely unprepared for the large SACK that he handed my way the next Monday. Wha…how….can….do….eh? He said, “steam them, but wash them first.” Hmmm…..I then carried them home like the Santa Claus of the sea and dumped them into my sink. I stared in amazement at the dirt and clumped together oysters that I needed to separate and clean. Do you know how oysters are grown? I’m sure you do…but just in case, and to drive the details of the wreckage in my sink home, I’ll tell you. The seed (or spat, if we are getting technical) is placed just above the bottom of the brackish water, which is why the west coast is good for oyster farming, and not, swimming…ew. After the oysters have fully matured (taking several years) they pull up the oysters and detach them from racks, bags or cages, whichever that particular farmer used. What does this mean? Well…it means that our oysters, were still connected to the strips of plastic that they grew on. Do you know how difficult it is to detach them from what they grew on? Dang near impossible to remove…so I stopped trying to pry them off after the first oyster’s razor sharp shell tried to slice my hand off. (a tad over exaggerated, I must admit) As I was sifting through the mess, attempting to find a few that might have fallen off the plastic, I noticed, out of the corner of my eye, some movement. I had to ask myself…now…why would there be something moving in here? I am not an individual that screams when becoming frightened, but I have no problem admitting that when I glanced over and saw what I thought was a large, malevolent, nasty, abhorrent, appalling, dreadful, ghastly, hideous, repulsive, vile, long legged, spider (I hate spiders, can you tell?) I yelled and jumped several feet away from the sink, sending dirty oyster water all over my counter and floor (…longest sentence ever). After a closer inspection, I realized it was only a small crab that had the misfortune of choosing the wrong crowd to hang out with in the sea. After spotting seven or eight more crabs, and not being able to get over the fact that they still looked like spiders, I decided that my four oysters were enough, and placed everything else back in the bag. After steaming the oysters, the next task was trying to get them open. I think they are supposed to pop open if you steam them correctly…but that’s just a guess. One was open and I can now say I’ve eaten a Korean Oyster (not bad), but just one, because the others proved impossible to get into as well. Yikes.

- The word nauseous needed to be explained in class. I said, “It’s when you feel sick, like you could throw up.” A student then said, “Ohh! Like you could make a pizza!” and pantomimed the throw-up action, complete with the throw-up landing on the floor in the shape of a pizza. A very good comparison, which I now use on occasion, as in “Oh that’s gross, I think I’m going to go make a pizza.”

- My sister left me a 10 minute skype voicemail. It was fantastic! About halfway through, I forgot I wasn’t actually talking to her, and began to respond to it…before remembering I was talking to a machine. Thanks Hope East. :)

- Yongsan. It’s a suburb of Seoul, with a very nice theater. Outside the theater, is a very nice Crepe stand. And by very nice, I mean fantastically delicious, and that’s an extreme understatement. I ordered a chocolate banana crepe and watched in amazement as it was made. I must come clean and say that a Coldstone Creamery was spotted before the crepe stand…therefore, a snack of ice cream came before the crepe. And though the phrase “fat cow” was thrown around (in a joking manner?) I did not care in the least, because I was eating a piece of sunshine dust. (NOT Marjory Stewart Baxter…)

- Riding on the subway is always an interesting affair. As we live on the end of the line, we can usually nab a seat before the next few stations when they fill up…but we’ve never been on a totally empty train before. Once, after we first met, Holly said to me, “Kaley, someday, the train will be empty, and you’re going to hang from the bar by your knees.” I was in agreement with this awesome plan, of course! That day finally came when we were headed for our hike. We had an amazing time acting like we were 12 years old. Here are some pictures:

- As I don’t drive a vehicle here, I don’t pay much attention to the rules of parking a car and where they can be parked, but even I can’t ignore the fact that many cars double park. How do the other cars get out? Do people get angry? What is GOING ON?! I soon found out two things: 1. people place their phone numbers in the window so if they are in the way, they just call the stranger up and ask them to move, or my personal favorite: 2. They leave their car in neutral…so it can BE PUSHED OUT OF THE WAY. How crazy is THAT?!

- Think of Korea. Think of the word Earthquake. Do they go together? No, but you better believe we had one. I was sitting in class, tutoring Mr. Kim’s wife, when the building started to…well, I guess, rumble, is how I will describe it. It lasted for about 8 seconds and Cindy and I just looked at each other in confusion. I then worded out loud the obvious question that I knew we were both thinking…”what was THAT?!” but her response was NOT what I expected…. “Maybe Mr. Kim jumped?” A crack at Mr. Kim’s weight…oh my. Haha. Mr. Kim then came in and told us that the Korean news website was saying it was a 3.0 earthquake that was felt all the way into Seoul…but actually originated from pretty much where we were standing. Siheung was the epicenter…weird.

- This next paragraph is about my bike wreck…but first, I’d like to preface this story with a disclaimer: It may seem like I have many accidents here in Korea….but you don’t need to worry…I’m always this clumsy, I’ve just never blogged about them before. Don’t get me wrong…I’m not trying to bring my clumsiness to everyone’s attention, it’s just who I am, but most of you know this I think. Moving on…Last Thursday it snowed, but it was a very wet, heavy snow that pretty much turned to slush right away. When it snows, I don’t ride my bike, because, that’s just asking for trouble. On Friday, the snow had all but melted away, and as I was leaving work, I decided that I might need my bike for the weekend so I grabbed it. As I headed for Holly’s to eat breakfast, I started to go down a ramp onto the parking lot, but a car was blocking the ramp, so I just went off the curb instead. What I didn’t see…was that tricky black ice, sneakily awaiting my back tire to connect with the ground at an angle mathematically perfect to complete the equation of “slippage to the tenth power”. Before I knew it, I was flat on my face, and I felt like I was Calvin when his bike attacks him in the Calvin and Hobbs cartoon. I then arrived at the universal decision that sometimes plagues us as human beings, you know, the laugh or cry one? I’d rather laugh…and laugh I did…for about 10 minutes straight. As I picked up my bike and walked it the rest of the way to the apartment, I heard someone from 9 stories up exclaim, “Are you OK?!” Turns out, Holly happened to be on her porch at the exact moment I rounded the corner, and had seen the whole thing. I shouted, between laughing fits, “did you SEE THAT?!” Well of course she had. Which made it even more hilarious. The damage? A lovely bruise where the handle had hit my leg, bruised hands and knee, a bent bike pedal that now clicks on the back bar and a memory that make me laugh every time I think about it. Thanks Korea.

- I went skiing again last weekend…two times in one year…I could get used to that. It was the same resort as last time, but a different group of people. It was so fun! I tried more runs this time, and found out that a black diamond here isn’t like a black diamond in Colorado, but challenging for me nonetheless. The slopes were so steep, that when I fell, I usually didn’t stop sliding (on my back, head first) for at least 50 ft. Luckily, my skis stayed on so I didn’t have to try and chase after them. Though, for the first time ever, I was that one person who dropped their ski pole off a lift…SHOOT! It was close enough to the beginning that it could be retrieved but I still felt like an idiot. Holly and I met a great couple named Pete and Kelly, who we will be hanging out with more here in Korea. Pete had never skied before and took to it swimmingly. Holly did great too, especially since she hasn’t been in 6 years. I thought about throwing her down a black diamond with me…but…she would hear none of it. The weather was beautiful. It snowed the first day, covering all the trees with wonder, and was a perfect temperature the 2^nd day. Here are some pictures from this trip:

Love!

Stairs for giants...

A few weekends ago we went hiking. Having said that, let me back up and fully explain the details that preceded the hike. A couple months after I arrived in Korea, I was notified of a facebook group that goes on hikes throughout the year. I joined the group and then, because winter was coming and no one was setting up any hikes, I forgot that I had joined. When I received a notification from the group two weeks ago I thought “what is this? Oh yeah, that hiking group.” Intrigued, I checked out the details. This is exactly (no really, exactly) what was written about it:

theme:
- urban hike and trekking
- 12km(around 8 miles), 6~7hours
- novice, everybody can join and enjoy trekking. if you want to walk, then you can make it.
- walk along the fortress from Dongdaemoon(east gate) to Namdaemoon(South gate)
- some part of trails will be road, pedestrian crossing
- 3mountains Naksan, Bukaksan, Inwangsan - mountain(most of part are well arranged and some part with stairs or fences)
- you don't need any hiking gears but hiking boots and pants would be good.

It looked fun and Holly and I decided it was a good way to spend the weekend; (semi-colon used correctly? I’m thinking, no.) free leisure activitiesssss….I’m in. So early Saturday morning found us packing a bag and heading to the station for our two hour subway ride to the meeting point. When we got there, our guide, Warren, who we had never met before, greeted us with an excited hello and a warm hug. There were only about 6 people there when we arrived but soon our ranks grew to about 30, with an array of different nationalities. Our friend Laura met us there as well. Warren, full of energy, said “Ok, let’s all get in a group and STRETCH!” We all looked at each other and said…”uh, stretch?! We aren’t stretching.” …We should have stretched. Piece of advice, when Warren says stretch…he’s not messing around, do it. *serious nod* Then we were on our way like the Travelocity gnome! “I’m on my wayyyy.” Get it? No? Ok. We started in the middle of many businesses so we had to wend our way through the town to find the path along the fortress wall. The wall was very interesting because you could tell which part was old, and which was newly rebuilt. The lower part was some 500 years old while the top was obviously very recently repaired. Here’s a picture for you visual learners:

Warren, Holly, Laura, and I pretty much lead the pack the whole way. Apparently we are fast walkers. Part of the trail was icy to begin with. What part? Why, the downhill part of course. We had to walk off the path on the few spots where dirt showed through. I did take this opportunity to try my hand at some downhill ice-skating though. It was pretty out of control, and fun. Here is a picture of this particular icy part, the railing was handy to grab when sliding too fast..haha!

We had some characters on the hike, a few names we remembered, but others we had to make up based on their physical attributes or clothes: a guy from New Zealand who Holly lovingly dubbed “Pinstripes,” because of his choice of pants, he was ornery and oddly dating a girl named Kaley, and “Red beard” who wasn’t a pirate, but did in fact have a red beard. The hike turned out to be pretty intense. Some parts were amazingly steep and made us question the “novice” label of the hike. Much of it was covered in stairs…but these weren’t NORMAL stairs…they were very inconsistent in their spacing and at one point the exclamation “what are these, stairs for GIANTS!?!” may or may not have been shouted between gasping breaths. The view from all three mountains was spectacular and made the sore limbs totally worth it. We felt like we had hiked along side Korea’s equivalence of the Great Wall.

Afterwards Holly, Laura (I’m omitting that Oxford comma…only because it’s a pet peeve of someone I know…take THAT Kanga!) and I went to Kraze Burger and had pretty much the MOST DELICIOUS burger known to man kind. We had the opportunity to join some of the other hikers for some Korean pancakes, but I decided to opt out; I wasn’t feeling like eating squid at the time, or ever really. We will be doing another hike with the group in a few weeks. This one is located near the east coast in a National Park. It’s supposed to be a beautiful hike during winter. We were supposed to hike it this weekend but, in the words of a fellow hiker, it experienced a “snow obliteration,” and the government actually shut it down until they can get some trails cleared. This time we will have learned our lesson and we’ll make sure and stretch. J love you guys. Another blog soon. Very soon.

Holly, Warren and I on the top of one mountain. Oh Warren. lol. And Laura looking out over the scenery.

Laura and I scaling some rocks. Who needs a ROPE?! Come on!

A tree that they built the stairs around. Amazing.

Abscond!!!!

Hello all! I'm back...Are you proud of me?! After this post, I should be up to date. I know I've probably forgotten a few things...but I think you'll have plenty to read. This one is pretty long. Enjoy!:

A couple of the classes that I teach are private tutoring for the more affluent (rich, they’re just rich) members of our school. One such student is a kind, older gentleman, who knew, well, zero English when he started my class. He had already been taking grammar classes with Cindy before I came so I was a little confused why he didn't know anything, ah well. He's very diligent and wakes up early every day to drive an hour from Seoul for class. The only time he has missed is because he was sitting in an 8 hour traffic jam because Koreans don't know what snow is (haha), but I'll get to that later. So one day, Mr. Lee was reading a paragraph in the book, and I corrected something that he said. He was confused so I proceeded to explain in more detail. When he finally understood what I was talking about he said "ohhhhh!" in understanding and leaned back at the same time. I will always have his next look in my memory, the universal look of "oh my gosh I'm falling all the way down and there's nothing I can do about it!!" but depending on who you are, in more profane and shorter words. He attempted to grab the table but the floor was too slick so, down he went, hitting the wall with his head on the way. Now, Koreans are all about the pride, so I was a little worried about how to react. I ended up helping him up and asking if he was ok. He kept rubbing his head and nodding in assurance that he was. Mr. Kim ran in and said "what happened?!?!" Mr. Lee said something to him in Korean and he left. We didn't speak much more about it until 5 minutes later when I was explaining something else to him, and he again realized what I was saying but instead of responding with "ohhhh!" he nodded and rubbed his head and started laughing. Yes, he had just made a joke. Bravo Mr. Lee. Then we laughed for about 2 minutes straight. Tension relieved. Alriiight.
About a week later, wouldn't you have it, another student did the exact same thing. I had moved the table away from the wall on the side Mr. Lee fell for fear of someone hitting their head again. This student ended up falling on the opposite side and did indeed, land a blow to the wall. Blast. I can't protect everyone! Now, when they lean back in their chair (as oddly, several of them tend to do), I have to warn them about falling. I have to resist the urge to say "4 on the floor 4 on the floor!" as was learned in elementary school. They'll learn, they'll all learn. :)

The snow: Well, it doesn’t happen much in this area. Obviously it snows more in the mountains but usually Korea gets a few small accumulations a year and that’s about it. But like at home, it’s a different story this year. Jan. 4^th it snowed about 8-12 inches in one day, depending on where you were. The reaction though, was the same everywhere. They didn’t know what to do. People were using what they had to the best of their abilities; shovels, brooms, and dust pans (uhhh?). The snow stayed on the roads for almost a week before they started bringing back hoes, yes, back hoes, in to clear them. The sidewalks were an icy mess, because people were packing the snow down when they walked in one path formed by some brave individual. At one point I spotted some city tucks making a valiant attempt to spread salt over the snow on the roads, at 10:00pm. So that way, the snow would melt a little, and then refreeze that same night for an interesting morning drive to work. J The snow, three weeks later, is finally mostly gone, do you know why? Because it rained. HAHAHA!

When it snowed, I received a call from Holly after work. She said “Hey, whenever it snows at home, we always go out and play in it. Do you want to do that?” You guys know me….she didn’t have to say anymore! I was ready to go! So, after some confusion (namely, me lying in the snow, not in clear view so she could see me, oops) we found each other and had a fantastic time sledding down a small hill and making snow angels! Thanks Holly. J

In the last couple months that I’ve been extremely lacking on my blog updates I visited a kind of theme park called Aiin’s World. As I don’t remember when this was exactly, we’ll just say the week of….November. haha. I went there with Jackie and Shirley. It has very detailed miniatures of many famous world monuments, buildings, structures, etc. It was quite fascinating. You’re supposed to be able to stand in a specific spot and make it look like you were actually at these places. This seems silly, because you can’t actually convince people that you went to all of them. So we took some unrealistic pictures, which I’ll attempt to include… right….here--

In December I was able to go Skiing! It was very, very cold, but also fun! About 40 foreigners/native English speakers went on the trip. We skied in the afternoon and evening. Korea is the opposite from America in that the majority of people are snowboarders. So, being a skier, I slalomed around many, many snowboarders who liked to just plop themselves down right in the middle of the slopes. No collisions on my part! Whew! We stayed the night at a youth hostel right by the slopes and it was quite pleasant. I enjoyed the 5 other roommates that I had and one of our newly made Korean friends even ordered us Dominoes Pizza!! Very Yum. Holly and I will go back for Lunar New Year in Feb. Excited!

Over Christmas break, Sarah, David, Holly and I visited Namsan Tower in Seoul. This tower is a very popular spot to visit for tourists as well as Koreans. Many couples visit with a padlock. They lock it on a fence together and then throw away the key to signify that they will be together forever. Hmmm…ok. You can ride the elevator to the top and look out over Seoul. Very beautiful at night. Before Namsan tower we ate at a Mexican restaurant (not even CLOSE to El Pueblito!) and went to Sherlock Holmes (which I thought was great). The interesting thing is we saw another couple, at all three places. Haha! They should have just joined us! On the way back to the bottom of Namsan is a very steep hill. At one point I said “Man! If I started running right now, I wouldn’t be able to stop!” and Holly replied….”Umm…I kind of feel like I can’t stop right now!” hahaha! After that, everything was extremely funny. We were tired, or happy to have someone to ride all the way home with, or both. But as soon as we were shoved onto the VERY crowded subway, and Holly said “I feel like a COW” …Koreans in the same car as us could have thought we were drunk, and we would have had no way to prove that we were completely sober. It made for an interesting and fun ride home!

The next weekend was New Year and I had a blasted cold. I didn’t feel like doing anything strenuous. Sarah and David had a longer break so they were in Japan, and Holly, God bless her, was kind enough to let me tag along with her. We went to some of her coworkers’ apartment and brought in the New Year with cake and sparklers. I barely made it. I blame it on the cold. Lol. Holly and I spent the rest of the weekend watching movies and just being generally lazy, which was so perfect. We did visit the gym (sauna really) a couple times as well as an interesting trip up Mount Okgu in the dark to investigate some mysterious lights. We scaled some rocks, got stuck in some thorns and I may or may not have had a quite hilarious fall (“before I laugh, I need to make sure you are ok…”). The weekend was absolutely great, making that next full week of class almost unbearable. I hate that.

I’ve decided that you know you miss home when you’ve kept an empty tube of American toothpaste near your bathroom sink for the last month. Luckily, Nicole, amazing Nicole, sent me two more tubes. Thank you so much! And thank you to EVERYONE who sends me care packages! You don’t know how much I appreciate them!

A couple weeks ago we went to see Avatar in 3-D and vibrating seats. It was amazing. This movie is now near the top of my very long list of favorite movies. Touché James Cameron.

Last weekend was my ice fishing weekend. It was a fantastic experience! We were able to try our hand at breaking a hole in the ice and trying to catch fish with fishing pole-ish things that thousands of other Koreans were using. None of our group (90 total) caught anything but we had very short attention spans. There were so many other things to check out and we had little time to look before our barehanded fishing slot at 3:00! We saw sculptures, ice bowling, ice soccer, sledding, four wheeling, go-karting, ice skating, and a sleigh competition. Then we headed to the barehanded fishing area and dressed in the shorts and t-shirts they gave us to wear. We had 5 minutes to catch three fish. The water was FREEZING and many people jumped out right away before they even attempted catching a fish. I only grabbed two before my hands got too cold to get that third one. Dang! I’ll also try to include a video….

The next day we went hiking and sledding. A tree stump hiding under the snow attacked my leg on the way down, but it’s almost healed already. J

Yesterday after class we got to the car and saw that someone had hit the mirror on Mr. Kim’s car. They were kind enough to place the mirror on the hood of his car but that’s about it. He was a little upset and kept saying “the abscondess!” and asking me if that was right. I told him no, the word was just abscond but he didn’t listen. I’m simply amazed that he even used this word. This is how Koreans learn English, they study vocabulary over and over. Learning words such as abscond and cordiality, words that many AMERICANS wouldn’t even know let alone use, unless of course your name is Caleb Eastman. Then you use them on a daily basis because you are a genius. J I will now attempt to use the word abscond in my daily vocabulary. Holly and I parted from out Tues. Thurs. breakfast club by shouting “ABSCOND!” because it’s funny.

I hope you all are having a great week. I am now up to date on my blog. Whew! Long one!

You are not American.

Hello all. As you have gathered, I’ve been extremely negligent to my poor, poor blog. I apologize to this inanimate object, as well as my readers, who, I can probably imagine, are waiting in agonizing anticipation for my every entry. Hahaaa….that was a joke. I would hold it against none of you if you simple gave up even checking to see if I’ve stopped becoming a lazy bum. As I have so much to tell you, I shall be writing this in installations. The first of which will consist of a few funny things that have happened or been said in the last month. The next ones will be about my exciting, silly, and sometimes stupid adventures in South Korea. And as always, I miss you. You know who you are. J Here we go!

I spend copious amounts of time at my school, so, the people who I have the most frequent and interesting situations, happen to be, yes, my boss and his wife (Cindy). Here are a few:

-I’ve been tutoring Cindy so that she can start a beginner’s free talking class. We had a conversation about favorite foods. She asked me what my favorite food is and if you know me, you will understand that I really like pancakes. A lot. Mr. Kim and Cindy also know that I really have a soft spot in my heart for bread (oh carbs, how little I care) because when they go to Costco, and I am fortunate enough to tag along, I buy the most delicious bagels I can find in Korea. So when I said that pancakes were my favorite, she laughed and said; “oh! Kaley! Bagels and pancakes! You are so cute!”

Now, when you look at Kaley Eastman, I think the word “cute” is pretty far down on the list of ways to describe me. But as you can see in the next story, in Cindy’s eyes, I must be cute. Though, I am getting a sneaking suspicion that when she says “cute”, she’s actually meaning, “silly girl who’s strange mannerisms and preferences are just as odd in Korea as they are in America.” Let’s just hope all she means is Merriam Webster’s “attractive in a dainty way” but I don’t think so. Lol.

-Time: after work, getting ready to go home- “Oh no, we have a parking ticket on our car. I don’t want to pay it, do you see the parking officer?” ~Mr. Kim

“No…” ~ Cindy and I

“Ok! Quick! Run!” ~Mr. Kim

“Oh Kaley! You run so cute!” ~Cindy

So then we run to the car, hop in, and drive away. How much money did he just save? 3,000won. About $2.75. High fives all around.

- “Have you seen the news?”~Mr. Kim

This is a confusing question to me, as are many questions that I am asked. It has such a vague feeling to it, that all I can say is…no. It didn’t take me long to realize that something important usually happened, relevant to me, for him to ask me this. Such as, the shooting at the Army base in Texas, or the big snow all over the nation in Dec./January. Every once in awhile though, he’ll ask me this, and then tell me a completely random fact like, “A woman had a baby while she was in a weight lifting competition.” WHAAAAT?! Why would I have seen that? I mean, honestly, after he tells me these things, I try to find them in the Korean Herald, or the NY Times on the internet, but….sometimes, I have no idea where he is getting his information. Sometimes, it’s hard to keep a straight face in this environment.

- “Kaley, just you and I are going home tonight. Mr. Kim has an appointment.” ~ Cindy

And “an appointment” means that he’s going out drinking with his pals. Lol. Oh Korea.

-Even though Mr. Kim studied in California for a year, he still has some very interesting, and let’s face it, funny way of saying things in English. Such as “What is wrong with your brain system?” and “Why are you giving me that smile?” Both of which were said in a joking manner, and both of which I laughed at. Quite hard actually.

Some interesting stories involving my students:

-one student has recently been having troubles with between his company and a Chinese one. Apparently, the Chinese company made a safety regulation device but all the devices are now breaking, putting his company behind on shipments. He has begun referring to the Chinese company as “the bullshit company.” I swear I didn’t teach him that.

- I was recently told, as a joke that the reason one of my students comes to this Hogwon (private school) was because of two reasons. 1. It’s flexible hours and 2. Because I’m so beautiful. Lol.

- Another student asked me “Kaley, do you understand me when I speak English?” to which I replied “Most of the time. Sometimes you only have problems with your pronunciation, otherwise you speak English quite well!” He then said “Well, you don’t count. You are not American.” He meant that I had been in Korea long enough, that I was used to how they talk and could understand, even when they mispronounce words. They won’t just accept a compliment! Lol. He likes using this phrase now. “Kaley, what are you doing this weekend?” “I’m going ice fishing!” “oh! You are not American!” hahaaa.

love and hugs!

AH HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Are you ok?

eYes. I know. I have not written a blog in awhile. I have to come clean and say that my naps have been taking up all of my time. :) I'm sorry, I'll do better (ahem, melanie.)

-Paintballing! Ahwoooo! What a complete blast. Korean's call it "Survivor game." I figured that out when they asked me what I was doing for the weekend and they thought I was going bowling with paint. We had to meet at 11:30 at the Subway stop nearest the paintball field. Unfortunately that particular subway stop was FOREVER away from me...so I left about 8:00 hoping I would get there in time. I ended up arriving 30 minutes before everyone but that's ok. The early bird gets the worm? Or...yummy, warm, bread, walnut snack things that were near the entrance of the subway. mmmm. Tangent...sorry....SO we (29 foreigners) CRAMMED onto a tiny local bus which took us near the field. We then walked another 10 minutes, grabbed all the gear that needed to be taken the rest of the way up the side of the mountain, and divided into green (yeah green!) and yellow teams. I would be lying if I denied that our green team had our rear ends KICKED by the yellow team the first two games. But little did they (and we for that matter) know that we were just warming up! We played last man standing, capture the flag, and keep the medic alive (for lack of a better name). Last man standing was the first two games that we brutally lost. The yellow looked like they knew what they were doing. Then we switched to capture the flag, and after about two minutes, one of our guys pulled a Leroy Jenkins and just took off after the flag. We were caught a little off guard but then regained our composure and layed down some cover fire. Success! We then won the next 6 games or so. The last game I actually stayed in without getting hit and even marked several people with my paint. Sweeet. I ended up with 4 kicking bruises from the paintballs. It was a cold day so they didn't really break when they hit... The first game I was actually hit twice, after the first one hit my leg I stood up with my hand in the air to let people know I was out but someone "Forrest Gumped" me and I ended up with a nice shot in the butt. Thanks guys. Tired, sore, slimed and happy, several of us then went to a Brazilian restaurant. Delicious.
I had a funny conversation with a fellow foreigner who has been here almost 3 years teaching in the middle of Seoul. This is how it went:
"You've only been here 2 months? Get ready for a cold winter!"
"Oh I'm used to it. I'm from Kansas."
"But it gets really cold, like, 10 degrees."
"I'm from Kansas."
"The thing that makes it so bad is the wind though. It's so cold!"
"I'M FROM KANSAS!!!!! Where are you from?!"
"Florida."

lol!! Silly guy.

-Two stories about my awkwardness:
1. I was at the gym. I was walking by some weight lifting machines...very obvious, big machines. What happens? I walk into one so hard with my thigh that it literally stops me in my tracks. I hop around in a circle laughing (so I don't cry) and making sure no one saw me....luckily no one had. It developed an immediate bruise the size of a softball and two weeks later, is still there. Alllll riggghhhhhtttt!!
2. My washing machine is in my bathroom and it drains out onto the floor which then goes into the drain in the floor. The floor is slippery when wet. I was washing clothes. I forgot that I was washing clothes. So I stepped into the bathroom to get something...and fell so hard, that I reset the washing machine. HAHA!! How great is that? It didn't even hurt...was just surprising and made me laugh...hard. It made me really wish that someone was there to experience the laughter with me, and then, after we regained our composure, they would ask me if I was ok. Isn't it funny the order that comes in?

-Also about my washing machine...it's in Korean. So I really don't know what happens when I wash my clothes. I pretty much just push buttons and hope for the best. The clothes smell good when they come out. That's ok right?

-On my way home from work one night I saw a couple waiting at the cross walk. The boy had bright blond hair, cut into an elaborate Mohawk, and piercings all down his ears. I don't like to judge but the way he was dressed and with his piercings and hair, he seemed like a pretty "on the edge" kid. My eyes were then directed to what he had on his hands, and yes, they were mittens, shaped like cuddly little bear heads. Oh Korea.

-Sarah and I went shopping in a town called Itaewon 2 weekends ago. We went into a shop that was selling boots because we both needed some. I saw a pair that looked cute and warm. The shopkeeper came up to us and said "We the only shop that has big sizes!" Because everyone has smaller feet in Korea. I didn't know what size I wore so the worker brought me the "Biggest size we have." I tried it on anndddd....it didn't fit. My toes were curled near the top. "They don't fit." "What?! Yes they do!" "No really...they are too small." "But that's biggest size we have! They do fit!" "No! They don't! haha! REALLY!" but they wouldn't believe me. I might have to have mom send me some boots. Blast.

-I recently rode a subway train with the WORST SUBWAY DRIVER EVER! It's hard enough not to fall over on someone when they start and stop...but after they get going it shouldn't be jerky right? WRONG. I would have hopped on another line if I had the opportunity. I was flying all over the place! Speaking of subways, the workers have been on strike for 6 days now. Korean truckers joined about 3 days ago so a lot of the freight and cargo trains aren't making their destinations. We'll see how that turns out.

-Last week my hot water heater stopped working. I went 4 days with cold showers until my boss scheduled a plumber to come look at it. What do you know...miraculously, before the plumber showed up, it started working. Oh hot water heater how you mock me.

-Thanksgiving was a little sad for me. Columbus did not discover Korea (because he's a SLACKER! lol) so it isn't celebrated here. I was able to call and talk to my wonderful family on Thanksgiving day though, which was great! I love you guys! On Sunday we went to an American Air Force employee house who is stationed near the Military Base (he has a dryer AND a stove!). He had the opportunity to purchase a couple of turkey's flown into Korea from the U.S. About 15 foreigners got together and had delicious turkey and played Apples to Apples. It was enjoyable and I had some very tasty leftover turkey for lunch yesterday. mmm!

-My friends Jon and Jordan are going to have a baby in July! Congratulations guys!

Well I miss you all and you'll probably be hearing from me soon! love!

-Return Poke- I missed you too blog...

I've decided that getting on a bus in Korea is the likeness to getting on a ski lift. It's coming quickly, it's barely stopping, and if something goes wrong you are holding up a whole line of people and most likely a whole line of other buses too. Lovely. So when you get on and scan your card, you sure as darn better hope the stubborn piece of technology, as we all know technology can be, is working or you get to feel really embarrassed! yaaayyyy.

On Halloween, I was supposed to go paint balling, but because it rained incessantly, it was postponed. (to this weekend...woo!) So instead, Jackie and I went on a Scavenger Hunt. Several things (I'll throw out the number 78 just for kicks) were on the list to do and the goal was to get as many done with your group as possible. The tasks ranged from finding a dog in a Halloween costume (didn't happen, I don't think we even saw a DOG) to making a human pyramid with a Korean on top (success!) to eating live octopus (yes, I did it, and it latched to the inside of my check while I was frantically chewing it....gross). Without bragging, I'm just going to say that our group was awesome, and we won. The prize? A bag of American Sour Patch Kids...totally worth it. I also obtained a surprisingly detailed lion mask for the task "Have your whole group come back in costume." It sits on the top of my dresser, occasionally making me look twice in surprise. I'll probably be relinquishing to my little brother.

Last weekend I went to The Time Travelers Wife (good movie) with Sarah and David. The theater was almost completely empty besides us but this couple came in and sat....right next to me. This is an unfortunate pet peeve of mine. If you have ALL this area to sit in...WHY pick the seat next to me? huh?! Give me some spacceeeee. I looked at Sarah and she said "They have assigned seating in theaters Kaley." How did I miss this? AND WHY?!?! Kind of dumb, I won't lie.

Daylight savings time: proposed as a joke by Benjamin Franklin so people might save candles and actually put into effect by William Willet, doesn't happen in Korea. So people, I'm 15 hours ahead of you now!

Last Monday and Tuesday it was very cold. Sarah and David didn't have school because the government shut many of them down in lieu of the increase in Swine Flu cases. I DID have school but my break in the middle of the day allowed me to join them on a quick tour of a traditional Korean Palace. I walked to the subway and grabbed a tasty, warm green tea latte out of the vending machine while I waited for it to arrive. I assumed it would be about 10 minutes because I heard the one before leave right before I went up the stairs. To my immense surprise, the next train arrived only 2 minutes later. Standing there with a very hot drink, too hot to gulp down, and never knowing if it was OK to get on the subway with liquid...I froze (probably with a silly look on my face) with indecision and just decided to hope on, it was too yummy to throw away. I sat down and was on my way. Then an odd thing happened...the train started to slow down....it was moving at a crawl. I probably could have walked to the next station faster....so instead of being a quick 2 minutes between the next stop, it was more like 6. When it DID stop at the station it opened the doors like normal (letting a big gust of cold air in) and I sat there, waiting for them to close....and waited, and waited, and waited. Apparently, the train was ahead of schedule....so the operator decided to take it easy for 12 minutes or so to get back on schedule. They sure did pick a heck of a cold day to leave the doors open for so long!!! Gah!!

One day this week was waiting for the elevator in my apartment with my trusty (broken) bike. I was listening to my Ipod which was on shuffle. As the elevator doors opened a song by Avril Lavigne (female rocker extraordinaire) came on. I wheeled my bike into the elevator and stood there...rocking out to the song...with my eyes closed. Soon the doors opened, and thinking it was my 4th floor I turned to get off. I was horrified to find that a man was looking at me...and I was still on the 1st floor. We kind of looked at each other while the doors closed (he was laughing at me). I realized that, in my own little world, I had not hit what floor I wanted to go to, and elevators, not being in the business of reading minds, refuse to go anywhere if you don't tell them to. Embarrassing.

One of my evening classes told me that since they had to pick English nicknames, I needed a Korean one. They then proceeded to name me Yun Mi. Yun-meaning melody. America- Mi Guk means Beautiful Nation in Korean so Mi-meanings beautiful. It was nice! Now I just have to remember how to write it!

The back tire on my bike is wobbly....I thought "maybe it just needs to be tightened" so I took it to the bike repairman on the side of the road. What I gathered from his gesturing and the only word in English he could get out..."bearing"...and his unwillingness to just fix it...I think I have a permanently broken bike. Awesome.

Last night, seven people were going downstairs at the same time after work so we all squeezed onto the smallest elevator I've seen. As I looked up to see what floor we were on...I, for the first time ever, saw the words "FULL" right by the number. Hahaaaaa! They should probably put to words "TOO FULL" on there also because I have a feeling that's what it would have said. Ooops.

Love!

"Mr. Lee, where are you going?" "Lightening Tomorrowwww"

Last Saturday I traveled to the Incheon Global Fair and Festival with my boss (Mr. Kim), his wife (Cindy), and their friend, (one of my students) Mr. Lee. We didn't leave until 4 pm because tickets were less than half price after 5. When we got there we parked almost a mile away. It was the last day so there were many people there, also, Mr. Lee didn't know where he was going and we could have parked in the lot near the gates...but that's ok. Cindy told me that the area where we parked actually used to be the West Sea 10 years ago. They have actually built a dam and moved sand and dirt in the create more space to expand the already large city...and oh my goodness were they expanding! I'm putting picture on facebook but I could see at LEAST 20 very new, very tall buildings almost finished and several more being constructed.

If any of you have been to the Kansas State fair, the part of fair that has all of the buildings and expo halls is how you should picture this fair. When we arrived there were people going through the lines to get in...but because I was in the group (oops) we had to go through the "Foreigner" line. I'm not sure why they had this line...who can say whether too many foreigners visited the fair. It was the last day so they weren't doing temperature checks but we did have to wash our hands, get our hands sprayed, and walk through an ultraviolet light doorway thing. We went through a huge flower garden, saw the robot/space expo, a future/economically friendly "what Incheon and other seaport countries will look like" expo (which was CRAZY futuristic...but supposed to be done by 2020), watched a short 3-d movie, ate, and studied pictures of Korea taken from the sky (neat).

Next stop! Little sister! I mean.... A cool light/water show put on by Samsung!

Ok...so when we got to the water show area there were already a lot of people everywhere. It was like the last *bang* the fair was going to get before they closed...also...it was being sponsored by the biggest company in Korea!! It had to be good! We made our way to the front, in front of all the chairs...our first mistake and not my idea. The ground was a little wet from the previous water show but only slightly damp. We (I) had to kneel so people behind us could see over the abnormally tall American. So...let me just say I don't kneel...it's not phyically possible for more than 5 minutes. Not kidding. I've tried. I finally had to say "oh well" and just sit on my rear, a let it get wet. The show finally starts (15 minutes late) and a song plays that is in Korean with the words "Lightning Tomorrow" thrown in every 10 words. Who knows why. The water goes off...we get a little damp from the mist...no big problem. BUT THEN...I look in front of me and realize...we are in the absolute worst spot anyone at the Fair could be at the moment. This isn't an overexaggeration people...like when you're at something like this and people say "Man am I glad we aren't were THEY are." that was us...we were "they." I look...and there is a considerable sized pool of water rushing right...towards me. GREAT!!! So I have to hop back into my excrutiating kneeling position, letting the ant size tsunami wash over my shoes and not enjoy the show at all...which was pretty cool so far. There was a mixture of water, lazers, fire, and music. Luckily, after my 5 minute time limit of kneeling was almost up, some genius set off some fireworks BEHIND US!! Yesssss. Everyone at this point stood up to try and watch the water in front, and fireworks behind. Any other time I would have been annoyed....who separates two cool shows in opposite directions, making it impossible to watch both?! But today...I didn't even care, I didn't have to KNEEL anymore!! Afterwards, with my wet knees, shoes, bottom and head, we walked the mile back to Mr. Lee's car.

Mr. Lee, it turns out, is a person who doesn't like to wait for traffic. So..ignoring his GPS beeping at him, he took a detour. Mr. Kim kept asking him "Mr. Lee....where are you going?" To which Mr. Lee replied with a surprisingly bad rendition of the "Lightning tomorrowwww" phrase of the light show song. I also heard Mr. Kim say, "slow down man!", "you violated!" (which means he broke a road law) and " are we going to get home before tomorrow?" Mr. Lee just laughed and kept going. At one point...he randomly honked at some guys by the side of the road eating dinner. All I could do was sit in the back and laugh. So a fairly eventful 6 hours on Saturday made up for the uneventful Saturday morning I experienced.

miss you.